Wipe out the Accounting Entry

When I arrived that home, it was only a garage where my old client lived. Said my professor on the Master of Counselling lecturing. It was the most miserable life I ever saw. The old man was living with 4 chairs in the garage where they placed all his belongings of his life. Drink packs & biscuits were his meals. His son and son's wife was upstairs with a neat home. This client was transferred to the municipal hospital. At night he refused to stay in bed, telling he has to wait at the corridor for someone to visit him. Yet for months, no one come to visit him. This elder had a history of child battering & alocholism when he was younger. He deserved! I said to my heart..... It was another hot summer afternoon, in a tiny room we were discussing forgivefulness. How? How could I? I startled into the eyes of my church brother. A moment of silence from him. I don't know .... but perhaps our Father knows. Let us settle at His keens and open our ears to what He teaches, there must be some ways. He answered.... Another few days after, it was a sunny Sabbath. ....Forgiveness is to wipe out the accounting entry on the balance sheet, and is for our own good. Forgiveness is not to think daily. Let's pray for it ....The pastor finished his Sunday preach on the stage. I like his speech, so comfortable! Mom whispered low at my shoulder. Isn't it? If not for His forgiveness and mercy, He won't heal me and now I can walk. Mom told...... I nodded to her. Today dated the 115th day after she had a fatal brain stroke.

Fear, or love .....

"I am luck! The Lord love me a lot!", while I was peeling an apple, mom said on the patient bed.
"Why?", I asked
"I've got you beloved son. Look over there!", she pointed her finger...
Just a few beds away in the ward, a granny requesting to go toilet and was rudely refused. Nurse given reason was her diaper will be changed soon. Both of them were in temper.
"When one is ill and weak, it is a living hell if no one cares! You know this?"
"Mom, I know this. I know this too well."
"(*sigh) Not everyone like to be with an illed and weak, only someone so loving can do so. For someone not loving, he already be scared and disappeared immediately. You know?"
"Yes, I know this well too!", I handed over the peeled apple to her.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
<<1 John 4:18-19 KJV>>

He is just over there!

It was the 17th day of mom being hospitalized, pains were so torturing and tears fell down from her face. I squatted in front of her wheelchair, wipped her tears & asked at her nose tip. "Did you chat with the Lord last night?" She nodded. "So what did He answer you?" "Nothing." "Ummm..please don't be afriad mom." "But I am afraid!" "Well, did you see last year this time I was the same difficult like you now?". She nodded "What I did is following Him & then He led me out too those pains too. You were there all time with me in the house, you remember you saw this?" "Yes, I remember." she nodded, and tapped me on my shoulder.... It was the 24th day of her being hospitalized, we chatted again at her bedside.... "Did you chatted with the Lord last night?". "Yes, I prayed when I am afriad 2:00 or 3:00 at night." "So what did He answer?" "He keeps silent, until last night, He told: Don't be afraid! You'll be good!" "Really?" "Yes." "Or was it because bro's wife brought your grandsons to visit you yesterday, you were too happy?" "That's also true." "That's wasn't due to God, was it?" "But they came perhaps due to my prayer too!!" "Haha! True. He sent you the Chinese medical doctor Mr. Wong too, who helping you with acupuncture now. He's a Christian too." "True." "And the Lord gifted you with sons, a husband & grandsons." "Very true! That granny over there doesn't have anyone to visit her, for weeks." "The other day, our church pastor prayed about your health with all people in the hall." "Really!" "Yup, so, do you think the Lord is out there?" "Yes, I talked with Him everynight. You see Him? Look! He's just over there!", pointing her finger to the Jesus figure hanged on the wall. We kept on our chats about other things about the Lord ..... Mom, God is your doctor, please be well, and soon you can be seated and relax freely again in my house enjoying TV like before you did.

Let's invite Him to be here....

Dear brothers, it has been an earthquake in my family over the week since mom had a fatal stroke. Dad sobbed silently. We were slained at our hearts inevitably.

She was vigorously cleansing around in the house, now cried for ending her life in tears. The other day I took her on taxi to hospital, she was not able to answer my calling aloud 'MOM'! At once, death had been so close knocking at our family door. Recall last year I was in my most darkiest days of my life, no one on this planet earth love to take a glimpse to this feeble body, only her returned to live with me. In the most darkiest days, no one uttered a word of love to me, only her selfishlessly worried. Only her walked with me in sleepless worries, nights after nights, months after months. Love is no smell, no shape, no form, but she made it so tangible. What can I return? ...

Dear Aries, you are not the only one shoulder to bear this. Let's invite Him to be here, invite Him be with your family everyday. Be vast amount of peace into your hearts, fight with this empowerment. Laughthers, will not stop here....

What's the point to win?

"It'll take years to heal a broken heart, perhaps a life's time. It's already a gift that we have someone loving. So what's the point to fight & thrive for always win? For what? ...." - Mr. Li, a psychologist at Sichuan disaster, a survivor of 1976 Tangshan 7.8M earthquake.

Lost and Found

	Do we discover nothing can exchange love, only after it was lost and found? ..... "Many waters are not able to quench the love, And floods do not wash it away. If one give all the wealth of his house for love, Treading down -- they tread upon it." (SS 8:7)
(A wife found her husband after an mega earthquake, Sichuan, China, 12May 2008)

We hiked up to the mountain ...

We hiked up to the mountain, and at the peak a brother shared: We always feel lost of somthing in our life journey. We can't play carefree like we did in the childhood. We missed our palymates. Yet as an adult, we have career, gaining other happy things. Someone advised me that is just God led us in a transition of life and our self development to be a complete person. It's a change of our life-style, not means loss of the past. In that sense we don't have to insist to gain back the past happy things. God gifted us so many lovely gifts, in good times, and at worse times. He is always the one who replenishing us with new joy, and peace - only if we are not insisting in holding the old happy things we had in hand .... "Your smile in that pic looks different!", same day, another friend told. "How different?" "Don't know, but you look relax & joy. I bet you must have good brothers that you enjoy to be with & trust them a lot!" "Of course!" I told ...

Indifferent ways

- "Indifferent Ways", 2008, Hong Kong

When parts of body are united in one out of love, not aparting out of hatred ...

	You let those who insists some brothers are inferior, now witness from their very own naked eyes that Your love to the inferiors is even more plentiful. Your love so exercised, when parts of body are united in one out of love, not aparting out of hatred ....
	"As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet, 'I have no need of you'. On the contrary, the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those parts of the body which we think less honorable we invest with the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together" [1 Col 12:20~26]

Why ten disasters?

"Do you know why God made King Pharaoh's heart hardened and downloaded 10 disasters?", a friend asked.

"I don't know", I told.

"It was not God made Pharaoh's heart hardened deliberately. But God let Pharaoh's heart indulged in his own resistance and do whatever he likes. Until the 10 disasters came to make him know God's existence" and keep on explaining the meaning of those 10 disasters....

Die your old self to your own

"A day when I drove on the highway, I noticed the repair indicator light lit up. I mentioned to my wife that perhaps the car really need a proper check. Yet she insisted it's only the indicator light was malfunctioning. It's the indicator need to be fixed, she totally denied that the car was having something wrong.

A few days later, a big bang roared on the highway. Smoke billowed up to the sky from our car, her trip to work came to a halt. A valve at the bottom of our vehicle loosen, gasoline leaking, and the engine burnt under high temperature without gasoline. It costed her USD $2500 to fix it, and another US $400 for daily communting to work places. This is the time and money that she couldn't afford, but now she had to pay this cost. Only if she had paid little attention to the indicator lamp on the dashboard, she could have saved this huge cost. After all, everyone of us has behaved like that, and myself too for so many years.

Anger, hatred, self-blaming, regrets, fears, anxiety and grief and alike are indicators. Their flashing lights reflecting deep in there, there is something wrong with yourself, with your relationship with someone. They are there by a design engineered by God as a built-in indicators system on the dashboard of human minds. The main design purpose is to avoid you to get seious injury. God want you to be alerted to these early indicators, not to deny them, hide them and cover up these unplesant warnings. Thus God is loving, that He always give you enough warnings. He won't end a marriage in a few days, He won't break a love relationship in a few hours, He won't let someone to become a drug addict in merely a few weeks. Hence God is fair, since He let you to have a choice in healing. Someone walked into divorce in marriage, as he had choosen to conseal, cover up, deny these warnings and choose to response with alcohol, run-away, denial & hatred. Yet someone walked into re-union of broken relationship, as he had choosen to say NO to hatred, denial, cover-up and not to insist an absolute justice. We are fond of insisting to heal our own because we haven't die our old selves to our own - we are still dressing up our very old selves that we are powerful enough to know and to heal our own. (If can, you won't be in the same situation for so many years, after all!)"

"Healing is a Choice", Stephen Arterburn

He makes me rest in the green fields by the quiet waters

My Lord, thanks for guiding me for 90 days, and still 10 days to walk with You ....

My Lord is Love My Lord is love He makes me rest in the green fields by the quiet waters He lits up the darkest corner of my soul And be with me every single day My Lord is love In dark nights He leads and beholds He makes me a full table feast of grace And walked me through the valley of deep shade On earth with with His grace His love is always on my right Your rod and your guide are my comfort Be with me through my life My Lord is love He makes me rest in the green fields by the quiet waters Fulfillment & joyce, fountained from my deepest soul And walked me through the valley of deep shade

Pain is a Gift ....

A five-year-old girl in Patterson, Georgia, has a rare abnormality. Congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis (CIPA) is so rare that a clinic specializing in the disorder has only 35 patients – only 17 of them from the United States.

CIPA is caused by a genetic mutation that obstructs development of the nerves that transmit sensations of pain, heat, and cold to the brain. So Ashlyn Blocker never feels pain.

“Wow! That’s great!” somebody opines. “I wish I was lucky enough to have that ‘disorder.’ I pinched my finger in a zipper yesterday – and it still smarts.”

Not so fast. Have you ever thought of the downside of insensitivity to pain? Ashley had a severely scratched cornea when she was eight months old, but nobody knew anything was wrong until her eye was bloodshot, swollen, and infected. Even the diagnostic tests didn’t phase her. That’s when they discovered something was wrong with her neurological system.

Since then the little girl has burned her hand seriously on a hot pressure washer. Bitten through her tongue while eating. Blistered her mouth on food too hot to eat. A fall, an inflamed appendix, a bladder infection, a splinter – things that would cause you pain enough to know you needed to do something about them could kill Ashlyn. She just doesn’t feel pain.

“Some people would say that’s a good thing. But, no!” says her mother, Tara Blocker. “It’s not. Pain’s there for a reason. It lets your body know something’s wrong and it needs to be fixed. I’d give anything for her to feel pain.”

Ever hear an unbeliever mock the idea of a powerful, loving God who still allows pain and suffering in the world he is supposed to have created? The reasoning goes something like this: Pain is bad, and a loving God would eliminate all pain. So there cannot be a God like the one you Christians worship.

Pain isn’t fun. But pain often serves good purposes. It warns. It protects. It teaches. And it is necessary for our growth and development. The “evil” that is associated with pain comes either when we unjustly inflict it upon one another (e.g., rape, intimidation) or when we react to it poorly (e.g., vengeance, unbelief, hatred).

What is true of physical pain is also true of emotional and spiritual pain. Pangs of conscience make us sensitive to one another. They require us to weigh the effects of our deeds on our neighbors. Spiritual pain over our sin and alienation from God is meant to send us to Christ for healing.

Far from being an argument against God’s creative power and redemptive love, pain attests his goodness as a natural alarm to our physical bodies. A motive for caring about one another as persons in community. A reason to seek the One who alone can deal with our eternal needs.

Pain is there for a reason. A very good reason.

-Dr. Rubel Shelly

Linkage

"I only need God, I need no one esle!" is not true.....God heals one through linkage, observe God that after we hide ourseleves up, how He instructs us to return to each other, which He encouraging us to consolidate our connection with His people via love, passsion, repentance, respects, encouragement, prayers, hosting, obdience, kindness, forgiving, serving, persuading, acceptance and fellowship. We are born to be connected, linkages support us, heal us. Isolation is the method of fools. Linkage is the method of God, because He told us to do so many times.....

"Take on yourselves on another's trobles, and so keep the law of Christ." (Galatian 6:2)

"Now may the God who gives comfort and strength in waiting make you of the same mind with one another in harmony with Christ Jesus" (Rom 15:5)

"Take part in the joy of those who are glad, and in the grief of those who are sorrowing. Do not have a high opinion of yourselves, but be in agreement with common people. Do not give yourselves an air of wisdom." (Rom 12:15)

"So that there might be no division in the body; but all the parts might have the same care for one another. And if there is pain in one part of the body, all the parts will be feeling it" (1 Col 12:25)

"So then, go on comforting and building up one another, as you have been doing" (1 Th, 5:11)

"And let us be moving one another at all times to love and good works" (Heb, 10:24)

("Healing is a Choice", Stephen Arterburn)

It Was Almost Like a Song

Once in every life Someone comes along And you came to me It was almost like a song You were in my arms Right where you belong And we were so in love It was almost like a song January through December We had such a perfect year But the flame became a dying ember All at once you weren't here Now my broken heart Cries for you each night And It's almost like a song But it’s much too hard to write It's too hard to write

I just want to be good

Brother Fu, they told don't want me to bother them anymore. I read these words. I am very depressed and want to give up. My body is sicked, and tired! I just now want to let people know I am working very hard to change and be a new person. I just want to be good, a good son, a good father, a good husband. But days after days, I feel tired, difficult and want to give up. Why it is so difficult?

Dear brother, don't be sad. Not all people on this world able to know you are now a new person in the name of Jesus. Some people hurt by you before, still remember those & stand away from you. They are not hating you, but they are protecting themselves as they still think you will be a wretch to hurt them again. My brother, if you are so made up your mind to be a good person, keep on! God will let those people know some day .....

Amazing Grace

I once prayed: God, make me be your servant to glorify your grace by music. God sent me to a sorrow funeral. On the funeral He sent me to an old friend. The old friend sent me to a city adult choir. The choir conductor sent me to the rehearsal studio. In the rehearsal studio, it appeared the "Amazing Grace". The "Amazing Grace" passed to another pianist. Very soon, the pianist will play the Amazing Grace, blessing a pair of man and woman on a wedding in the church.... His grace started from stepping to a funeral. And how sweet it is, to be in His Steps! Amazing grace, How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, But now am found ....

Even your Jesus can't correct a person

It was a quiet midnight though it was Chinese New Year. The clock ticked 12:30, my sister was chatting with me under a dim light in the dinning room of her house.

"Sis, I hate selfishness so much now. I have seen how one's selfishness ruined everything, from a country, a good family, loving relationship, to broken friendship. For all the rivals and wars in this world, I cannot think of anything else if not for selfishness!", I told.

"Yes, correct, selfishness ruined so many things. I know that too. But if a person, he never admits one's wrongdoing; even your Jesus can't correct him, isn't it?" Sis asked. I nodded strenuously.

"Yet after all, bad or good, if you feel the person is family, would hatred & angry help?" Sis said.

I muted .....

I beg your mercy

I was so shocked when my brother Hunky wrote "Today the psychologist told, I have to go to a psychiatric detention center". A sinner's world is a living hell, because not only he is regarded as a human rubbish outside, even sinners disdaining him because of his sin seems to be the heaviest, even among sinners!

"Brother Fu, please make me another little bible card. I wish to bring it with me to the new center.", he requested .....

My Holy Father, I pray to beg your mercy on sinners. Please! Aren't You promised, if someone in You, someone is reborn, someone is Your new creation. This brother was once a sinner of sinners, but now repent. Will You be mercy enough to relief his pain? Please don't desert him out of Your sight.

Not even a day more.....

"Aries, why you are so keen to learn counseling?", asked my brother. "Those unrepent sinners still in sin could possibly be nothing more than happy persons. Coz they never know. But I know well, the scene of hell when one was feeble but now gaining strong. I know so well, how suicidal it could be when one used to be sin but by Holy Father's love now decided to leave. It becomes a spiritual war that he can do so little to cease, his body being the battlefield between my Holy Father and Satan to win this person. Not even a day more, such severe unrest battle bring him a single minute of peace, slain his soul as one is pulling back and from light to darkness, darkness to light, light to darkness...again and again, endlessly. I bet not even a day more, this person wishes to live to sustain such unrest battle. Not even a day, is too long! In this busy and crazy city, one only calculates for one's own career, money & how much love one gained, who else, willing to take a brief glimpse to those who they termed "sinners"? Who else, willing to walk closer rather than putting them to be the lowest rubbish by their own stratification of human nobility. My brother, I know now, even as trivial as a phone call answered or unanswered determines the next steps of a willing life be into dark, or into light. Perhaps I am too trivial to turn anybody's life. I was a sinner after all. But it is just out of my human mind, if I see & hear these willing brothers, yelling for help in the angry waters and I silently walk away!?!". "Good Aries, we have been searching people but hard to find, so now, please came to our new prayer meeting. It's for those persons you mentioned!", with a smile, my brother invited.

Life is a drama

Aries, Yuenling passed away, told by a friend's voice on the phone. I was in a moment of shock. Immediately, the drama scene in which I were some one's elder brother replayed once again.

Yuenling, life is short, yet so glad that our lives once crossed over on stage. So gifted, that your mentoring on stage left as now to be my permanent life wisdom. Farewell, my dear mentor .....

Scene 5.7 "Different Ways"
(Light Q: spot 3,4 up)
Young Brother (YB): Brother, you fetch me so eagerly, something urgent?
Elder Brother (EB): Little brother, our party Chairman now became a psychopath, his woman Madam Yeah is such a dangerous woman, my road ahead is becoming more and more difficult. I want to find my way to escape out of here and have my new life. You go with me! So we can take care for each other!
YB: (hesitates) Brother, this road is the fate I have walked out no matter what way it could be. This place is my own choice, I won't go anywhere with you.
EB: (disappointed, sad) My dear little brother, listen to me please! I am afraid (horrified)... I am afraid ... there will be no other way by the time you regret and want to make an escape!!
YB: Don't worry me, I can take care of myself.
EB: (a moment of silence)... Well, alright then, perhaps I have been taking care for you so many years, so may be it's the time you take care for yourself. If you are so affirmed to stay on your own way, farewell, and take good care!
YB: Brother, farewell, you take good care too!
(deep sorrow, EB walk off to down stage right)
(light Q: spot 3,4 out) (sound Q: solemn music)

Extracts, "China in Sight", director Yuenling Wong, Hong Kong Arts Center 1998
**** Yuenling Wong, experimental drama director, playwright, women rights & human rights artist, 1958-2008 ****

It could be dawn

The clock ticks 3:25AM. My pen is writing on the paper: "Dear brother, is it your insomnia infecting me? I can't sleep. So I write to you. And I print you this Holy Cross picture taken by me a few years ago. I believe when I finished writing this letter & print the Holy Cross, it could be dawn ..... "

An Isolated Island

It was a sunny morning after all, but it isn't "sunny" here anyhow. This is an island where no one wants to be here. An isolated island and people live behind bars. So isolated. It took me 3 hours to get here, a place so ignored by the rest of this metropolis as perhaps due to men on this island are all unforgivable sinners. "You are able to sleep just 1 or 2 hours still every night?", the visitor room was so quiet, only two of us chatting. I started to ask his well being. He swayed his head with weary eyes. "What's eating you, brother?" "Too much thoughts in the head, perhaps." "Umm ..... no wonder.", a moment of silence between both of us. "But brother, they are passed, don't think them too much." "I'll try ... By the way, can you print me a photo of a Holy Cross?" "Sure, but why you need that? Don't you have one little cross hanging at your neck?" "Well, yes, but you know, I am so scared that I could drop and loose it someday. So a photo is better." "Sure!!", I smiled. My dear brother, please don't scare you will drop your Holy Father's love. It won't be! And how I admire your devotion in deed! Fears to loose your Father's love drives you to hold Him even more tighter. Brother, it was only sin that made people trashed on an isolated island. If we so made up our mind to leave the island, don't look back, propel hard, and swim across the rough sea! The opposite shore could not be far .....

(Lai San Correctional Institute, Hei Ling Chau, Hong Kong)

A constant smile !

My Holy Father, Are You trying to show me in Your steps, as in whatsoever life situation we could be, we should keep up smiling and be joyful in any times of good or bad, bright or dim, sunny or rainy?

I mouth-opened at Your stunning power to beholding a feeble person like this brother. So powerful that You've made a person as such holding a constant smile for years. This brother's suffering compares trivial with Jesus' crucifixion, and our sufferings compares trivial with this brother. So for what grounds we are qualified to complain at Your knees "why I am not happy?" and immediately stop trying to smile in times of our huge difficulties?! ....

Faces of Chemotherapy

I love because the other loves me

"I think my beloved is the only one I can be with, who is the only one on this earth can have that love to endure almost everything of me, making me feeling so safe there is someone always accepts and loves me, no matter how nasty I am.", my friend told. "Pretty natural. But you love merely due to someone able to love you? What if, if your beloved one at times of one's life is so wake, so tangled with one's own difficulties & has no capacity to render you huge love temporarily, you simply think this person is not admirable & instantly stop trying to abide your beloved and gone?" I questioned ...... "Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride; Love's ways are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself; it takes no account of evil; It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true." (1 Colithian 13:4).

I am willing!

There are nothing more sad then someone disdains to walk with you in your life journey. Yet the Holy Father observed, and is replenishing. So there is nothing more joyful if someone telling he is willing to walk together with you every single day in your life, even as tiny as only 100 days ..... "Dear brother, I am having a 100 days journey with my Holy Father, can I boldly ask if I can add you onto my list of "prayer guardian" for sustaining that 100 days?" "I am willing!", the brother promised aloud. My Holy Father, I so amazed if it is You sending this loving brother, from a distant land, yet prays for me every day? Thanks! And please behold this caring brother's needs too.

Blue Blue Blue Sky

	The sky was so grey in Hong Kong before the Christmas week. So I went to the walled city of Xian, where 18 years ago I visited under a blue Xian autumn sky, when i was so young. 18 years gone. Xian was heavily overcasted this Christmas. A small snow even turned everything into white overnight.
	I brought back a snowy Xian picture. Surprisingly, it won some envy voices: Aries, how nice you could have a 'White Christmas', HK Christmas was 23'C and rainny. They told. Immediately the next day I was back in Hong Kong, lovely blue sky resumed .....
	My Holy Father, You toured me to nowhere but home to see a blue sky, why should I bother be not in Your steps to travel so far seeking for that? "I haven't promised a blue sky prevails", You told, and You utterly told snow isn't hateful afterall, for a few moments at Christmas time at least!

I wish you a Merry Christmas

We're walking in the air We're floating in the moonlit sky The people far below are sleeping as we fly I'm holding very tight I'm riding in the midnight blue I'm finding I can fly so high above with you Far across the world The villages go by like dreams The rivers and the hills The forests and the streams Children gaze open mouth Taken by surprise Nobody down below believes their eyes We're surfing in the air We're swimming in the frozen sky We're drifting over icy Mountains floating by

Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep Arousing of a mighty monster from its sleep We're walking in the air We're dancing in the midnight sky And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly We're walking int the air We're walking int the air

Repentance wasn't joyful ...

It was a silent cafe, words on a page God whispered me silently how well He knows a repenting life could be... "Repentance wasn't joyful. It actually preceded the first time in my life I had ever been suicidal. I began sleeping through the days, then waking up horrified at myself, rehearsing again and again what I had done, each time seeing it in a worse light ... I would cry, thrashing around in my bed, pondering suicide ('If I ask God's forgiveness after I take the pills but before I die, can I still get into heaven?"), hitting the walls with my fists and head, then going back into fits of weeping and moaning... When I got him (my friend) on the phone and told him what was happening with me, the dam burst and I told him more than I had intended to: my guilt, the miserable life I had been, my fear that was no life or future for me. 'Well', he said, 'if banging your head into the wall is going to bring people into kingdom or build up the body of Christ, please keep doing it. But if it won't, don't you think all this energy you're putting into self-pity could be put into doing something useful, even redemptive, with what's left of your life?' .." Years later in US, the reminding friend become the publisher and the desperate sinner became the author who never knows, in another partition of time & space as remote to him as a country called China, THIS brother of him is zipping latte, inspired by the words he left.

Days later, written words from another Christ brother who is still in jail wrote: Dear brother Fu, I decided to follow Jesus in a gathering yesterday ... Dear Father in Heaven, too mircalous of Your works perhaps that even people in church don't believe Your exhibits. But sighted, You recalled lost persons to his repentance & delivered them from bondage. My dear Holy Father, but if You know repentance wasn't joyful, would You be also mercy enough to behold us lesser pain?

Cucurrucucu Paloma

Dicen que por las noches no más se le iba en puro llorar; dicen que no comía, no más se le iba en puro tomar. Juran que el mismo cielo se estremecía al oír su llanto, cómo sufrió por ella, y hasta en su muerte la fue llamando: Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay cantaba, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay gemía, Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay cantaba, de pasión mortal moría. Que una paloma triste muy de mañana le va a cantara la casita sola con sus puertitas de par en par; juran que esa paloma no es otra cosa más que su alma, que todavía espera a que regrese la desdichada. Cucurrucucú paloma, cucurrucucú no llores. Las piedras jamás, paloma, Qué van a saber de amores? .... uooh ....

People said every night they come, they are leaving weeping, They don't eat anything anyhow, they are leaving drunken anyway, This sky must be shaking, Whenever heard his weep, dove weeps together, Until he dies, calling her name still, Ay ay ay ay ay ..... singing, Ay ay ay ay ay ..... swooping, Ay ay ay ay ay ..... singing, Evaded passion ..... is dead. A sad dove, singing at early morning, To a solitary house, at a slice of ever opened small door, Unquenchable hope this dove has, they believe, Waiting someone to go home, Cucurrucucu ..... dear dove ..... don't cry, Dear dove, a stone doesn't know, a stone doesn't know how to love, Cucurrucucu ..... Cucurrucucu, Cucurrucucu .... dear dove, Don't cry anymore ... uooh ...... (by Caetano Velos, "Hable Con Ella (Talk to Her)", Pedro Almodóvar)

And people too bewildered...

Sam, a mainland China city dweller in his late thirties with a lovely daughter, is an IT staff of our customer bank. We had a busy week of works together, that we almost had lunch boxes everyday. "My homeland is in the remote rural of Shanxi province. Our home is in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of massive malt fields. Where at night, one hears nothing but the low hissing of night breeze combing against the plants over an ocean of malt field. Stars are so bright, so intimate. You can almost embrace them. One never sees stars over the city sky. City is too crowded, stars so faded, and people too bewildered after all....", Sam told, when we lunched together in the office canteen. "So does Hong Kong.", I told.

I feel I have done wrong & ask for forgive..

Hunky wrote: "...I beg for forgiveness and someone could help her. I think I have done wrong, so I beg for forgiveness and not to divorce with me ...." I wrote: "... I don't know if God will answer you to retain your wife with you, but as you knew "I did wrong", and if you repent the wrong doings & make a visible change, thre must be some people can witness this and there must a way that you will get your rewards from God some days ..."

(Christmas Card by Mr. Hunky)

Quest to The Moon

The clear sky answers me with a crystal full moon, So I pause tilting my wine glass to quest the moon: Why man tries to catch you in vain, But your shadow follows man always? The mirror like full moon visits me over the red chamber, Lustrous smoke flaming at your silverizing edge. I only see dark night is approaching over the ocean, Never know dawn is fading between the clouds. Revolving spring and autumn, crumbling medicine herbs in the moon, is the fairy rabbit. Else of the rabbit who cares? The one leaning against the fairy tree, is the lonesome moon fairy. A present person never sights an ancient moon, A present moon once shined an ancient person. How present & ancient persons passing like river drifts! Both persons should have seen the same full moon. Singing and tilting my wine glass are the times, In the bottle, At where my dear full moon is shining always. (Tang dynasty poet Li Bai – “Quest to The Moon”)

God loves the lonely ONEs

	Fears about future is a dark hole. But the Holy Father expels fears like this. For any person so bewildered at a road junction alone thinking he is the only ONE ....
	God knows and loves by sending some ONE to walk awhile with him ....
	Thanks God to gift us uncertainty! If today every ONE already knew tomorrow will be a failure, will they still passionately join and love his neighbours for a better tomorrow? But in His steps, these lonely ONEs cast fears into joy & peace. God gathers them, sooner or later there will be so many loving ONEs around the weary ONE!

God is not forgiving

	"Know that it is sin that made a person tumbled and bandaged. A sinful body is not His original creation. But by His love, one returns peace with Him and forgiven.
	Aries, you have already seen by your own naked eyes that God loves a person not for his conducts. Why you still doubt God is not forgiving?", asked one of my brothers in Christ....
Inmate, Mareseille Women's Prison, France 1991 photographer: Jane Evelyn Atwood http://www.janeevelynatwood.com/galleries/subject04/frames/subjectFS.html

Dark Dark Sky

My childhood, are times of indulgence & fights My old granny would sing to appease me Summer afternoons, very old songs pacifying me That song sang like this Dark Dark Sky … About to rain … Dark Dark Sky … Dark Dark … Farewell to childhood, I have my own life Brand new songs, brand new thoughts Spoiled and impulsive, are times of no control I forget, there is such a song Dark Dark Sky … About to rain … Dark Dark Sky … Dark Dark … I fell in love passionately, precariously with a person I think this is the world I dreamt of Dashing nowhere, colliding everywhere Misunderstood, Cheated What’s behind the adult’s world Is incompleteness always? I am running at road junctions everyday Reminiscing simple happy days of the past Love always left people weeped, left people unsatisfied The sky is so big but hardly visible So estranged … (interlude) I fell in love passionately, precariously with a person I think this is the world I dreamt of Dashing nowhere, colliding everywhere Misunderstood, Cheated What’s behind the adult’s world Is incompleteness always? I am running at road junctions everyday Reminiscing simple happy days of the past Love always left people weeped, left people unsatisfied The sky is so big but hardly visible So estranged … When sky is dark, I remember that song again Suddenly hope for rain drops of silence Indeed, granny’s wisdoms were sang long before It’s raining, still need to be brave to carry on I believe everything will be Peace I now wish so much to be Homed Dark Dark Sky … About to rain … Dark Dark Sky … Dark Dark ……
2 span

Is there any wonder which the Lord is not able to do?

"There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is, there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love. We have the power of loving, because He first had love for us." (1 John 4:18), in the morning, God whispered during church worship.

"There are 3 levels of hopes among Christians. Level 1 Christian hopes when goodies are happening. Level 2 hopes, even nothing is happening. Level 3 hopes still, when badies are happening. Most people told they are 'Christians' that they love others, but they are level 1 hopers...", at noon, He listened to my sharing at bible class.

"Is there any wonder which the Lord is not able to do?" (Gen 18:14), at night, Holdy Father answer me in my conversation with him.

My Holy Father, moring, noon and night, You whispered not to fear, love and forgive. How could I be not fear, love and forgive? Show me your steps.....

"But now I can have new beginning and new life ..."

	Today Hunky's words wrote: "But now I can have new beginning and new life.."
	"How good it is! He went to a new prison? ...He joined the desktop publishing course? Is there such a school in there? .... He added your name on the visitor list. Are you gonna to visit him? He told a pastor is visiting him, how come a pastor can go into prison? ...He wish to have a holy cross, will you buy him one?....", having so many bewildering questions each time, she is a very loyal reader of Mr. Hunky's letter ... Another friend recalling the grace, "Aries, strange enough I had so much tears after listening to your songs here...but I began to know God need me learning to follow solely His steps. No matter how big difficulties I am facing, and looks like impossible, but undoubtedly in His steps, He is the God who can accomplish everything, just like the difficulty of my litter sister had ...", continue to share the story of litter sister ... My Father in Heaven, how amazing grace You gifted us all! Sinners, or not sinners, inarguably You visibly presented how You love us, and how You turned sinful shames to be delivery of Your love for many others.

As Long As You Love Me

My Father, as long as you love me ..... Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine I'm leaving my life in your hands People say I'm crazy and that I am blind Risking it all in a glance And how you got me blind is still a mystery I can't get you out of my head Don't care what is written in your history As long as you're here with me Chorus: I don't care who you are Where you're from What you did As long as you love me Who you are Where you're from Don't care what you did As long as you love me Every little thing that you have said and done Feels like it's deep within me Doesn't really matter if you're on the run It seems like we're meant to be Chorus Bridge: I've tried to hide it so that no one knows But I guess it shows When you look into my eyes What you did and where you are comin' from I don't care, as long as you love me, baby. Chorus Who you are Where you're from Don't care what you did As long as you love me ....

Rest at His knees

	My Father in heaven, your son ask whereabout to go? You tell: "Be still, and know that I am God." So he is now tired, came to His knees and rest for a single moment of peace ...

In the eyes of God

	If I feel any person ugly and he deserves that life because of his own, would it be my Holy Father completely shocked by my ugliness too, as in His eyes, me a person same shabby and shockingly ugly comparing with Him approaching Him praying for forgiving? .... I so wonder.
	If I feel any other person's life is 2nd class human who's life has been dirty, less valuable, shame not pride, not honored to be noble & dignified because of his own sins or God created him ugly originally, then will God feel me the same when I approach Him claiming I am more beautiful, dignified and noble? .... I wonder much. But for unknown reasons, He is hugging and embracing His ugly son, and I feel it solidly. "And whenever you make a prayer, let there be forgiveness in your hearts if you have anything against anyone; so that you may have forgiveness for your sins from your Father who is in heaven." (Mark 11:25)

For where two or three are come together in my name ..

Visibily see this! On our way in HIS steps, God never make us a loner. "Again I say to you, that if two of you are in agreement on earth about anything for which they will make a request, it will done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are come together in my name, there am I among them." (Mat 18:19)

"May I have a holy cross?"

Jack told, inmate Mr. Y wrote to him and asked if we can bring him a little holy cross next time we visit him! Miraculous!

It says ...

Love has the power of undergoing all things

"Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride ... love has the power of undergoing all things." (1 Col, Ch.13)

I have no freedom to love, I have no freedom to dream ....

	Mr. F told me "I can't attend my son's wedding. He just married last month. I mostly worry my papa. Sometimes, I think of my pa at night, and can't sleep. I am scared, I am afraid when I come out of prison, he already died.....", Mr. F buried his head into his own brace and weeping in deep sorrows.
>	An hour later, another Mr. Y told "I so wish I could be a soldier some day. It's my life dream. There came a chance few years back. I prepared so hard, and was so proud of myself that I could answer the officer interview questions that others could not. Few days later, I know I was enlisted. But finally, for unknown reasons, Army informed me my place was placed by someone. I had to wait for the next recruitment. I cried and cried for days. Then I went to Shenzhen for works, I knew my girlfriend there. And later I entered HK illegally. The other day I received her mail, asking me if she married to someone else what will I do? ... Now I am in jail, what can I do? .... Sure she won't like to marry a prisoner, I can never meet her again, and I can never think of be a soldier again.....", tears rolled in the eyes of this young man.
(Mr. F, an inmate in his 40s, a father of 2 siblings in their 20s, a son of a 75yso severely ill & paralysed father) (Mr. Y, an inmate in his early 20s, a son of a 65yso mom.)

Men are so small.

If you are in HIM, you will be similing under HIS name.

Here it is ...

">	Here it is, almost a year now, where my Holy Father presented in person to hear HIS son’s chats, to tell him life wisdoms and keep restating him "You are my beloved son. You are not alone because I am with you!"

I have no freedom to love

My heart stiched when Hunky's word came ....

"Brother Fu, Haven't received your letters for days, you must be very busy for works and election. I am super unhappy because I know my appeal to have a lighter sentence is rejected. My aunty showed me a picture of my son today. He looks so horribly sicked & pale... I have no freedom to go to love him. I am very depress now..."

"My dear brother, sorry! And SORRY! I promise I won't leave you unattended in the prison anymore even I am busy.", I wrote...

God told...

I told Joesph, for years I feel like an ATM machine. But Holy Father replied "If you want happiness for a lifetime - help someone else." when another day I was in a shopping mall, on my way to go pee!

To my brother

A Tangled Mind

	A tangled mind, is too many nightmares, is too many people voicing different truth, is too many threads of ideas, is too much unguided fear, is too much thinking, is too clever, is ........... a heart too congested to let God writing something there.
A public graffitti, at Tsang Chow Choi's Life exhibition, Olympic City, Hong Kong)

Peace

>	My Lord call sinners to their way home this way ..... Hunky today wrote: Dear brother Aries, can you make these 2 into 2 littles cards. I like your bible card a lot. "I have come so that they may have life and have it in greater measure (John 10:10). I am the vine, you are the branches: HE who is in me at all times as I am in HIM gives much fruit, because without me, you are able to do nothing." (John 15:5)
	But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, a quiet mind, kind acts, well doing, faith, gentle behavior, control over desires: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22)" "I have thought it over a night. It isn't that bad at all to stay in the prison longer. This is possibly my Lord is testing me to correct myself because I am not prepared to be released. HE thinks it is better for me to be released only after I have a real change! So although I was unhappy that I was rejected for appealing a lighter sentence, but now I in peace!" Dear Hunky, I would like to tell it would be my great pleasure to make you million of these cards, I wrote ....
(Hunky, an inmate of Stanley Prison, serving a sentence of 3 years, a father of a 3-years-old son who suffers from cancer.)

In HIS view finder

Dominic, is one of my group mates, we are in the same fellowship group. A fellowship group that God asked me to go, and in which I know new friends & gained so much love.

"Aries, I noticed you have changed.", when leaving the fellowship gathering, Dominic told.

"Really?", I giggled. "I really don't notice."

"Yes, I can tell.", Dominic smiled, then go on explained what he meant .....

Have I? Is that because I am a photography fan, that I always see the world via my view finder, almost forgot, my view finder never find my own face. So this time, I let somebody to find me through the view finder .....

At Aulnay sous Bios

I still remember that night at Aulnay sous Bios ..... Aulnay sous Bios, a suburb somewhat 30km road distance northeast from downtown Paris. Here is where RER (Paris suburb trains) line B branches into two, one to the Charles de Gaulle airport, and the other to even more remote suburbs. It was a cold night though it was July, temperature was around 13'C, a day that I wandered alone in Paris, a night that I climbed up the Eiffel Tower & when returning I lost my way to find a link to the RER. I was on the last train of line B which was not destine to Charles de Gaulle (where my hotel was there). I took a glimpse at the RER map, figured out I should take off at "Aulnay sous Bios" as it "looks" close to airport, and then I should take a taxi. Paris is an expensive metropolis, that taking a cab to airport directly from downtown can be costly as 50 Euros, & I bet no taxi wish to go there with empty car returned. The train was empty also, a few black youngsters there speaking a foreign language that I completely don't understand. They are yelling & bullying around with peers in slang. I was tired & weary. As the train left the glamorous Paris city lights heading to the suburbs, world outside became completely dark, with only dots of lights from distant highways like twinkling stars, the train seemed taking me to the outer universe. "Hmm....things doesn't look good.", I talked with myself, when the train stopped at one station ahead of Aulnay sous Bios. 12:45AM, I gazed out onto the platform where it fell so deadly dark, there was no lighting at all. I was thinking alternatives: I can walk along the highways? (but I have no maps!); I can walk along the railway (but it leading to the airport station which is underground, how could I get out!?); I can just stay at Aulnay sous-Bios to wait for the dawn? (but where to shelter?); Or perhaps there is a taxi there? Or should I get off here and try my luck for a taxi? (but this place is completely dark!!) ...... What time I can be home? ..... I prayed, "My Father, pls take me home! I am alone in the dark, and all I want is just a rest...". The train walked again, heading to even more darker worlds. I couldn't hope there will be a taxi in such deserted suburb. The train reached Aulnay sous Bios at 12:55AM. Places outside the station looked more "civilized", as there were a few little shops, roads were lightened & at best 1 or 2 vehicles were passing by. All passengers were off, I noticed there was a family so bewildering on the platform like me. It was a family with parents and 2 kids of a few years old. They were not speaking French, though not English. Five bewilders of us, on the deserted platform, we did not know where to go. There came a group of security alike staff chatting merrily on the platform, possibly ready to be off of their working shift. The father approached the group in English, asking how they could get to Charles de Gaulle. "You want to go to Charles de Gaulle?", a young officer in security uniform answered us in English without much French accents. He smiled wittily, and told "Yeah, don't you know this is the last train that not going to airport? I know some tourists not aware! It happens." So is there any transport we can go back to the airport, we asked. The young officer told with a big affirmative warm smile: "YES of course! Come here this way! Just follow me!" The young officer examined our tickets, and apparently we also bought the wrong fare tickets. I haven't bought any ticket because at Paris station, someone told me I should pay when getting off. The officer waived me for the charges & fine payments for my trespassing ride. I virtually got a free train ride! He guided us out of the station, and told there is a bus running overnight to airport, yet next schedule will be at 2:15AM. At the small triangular shape station square, the young officer told, "Or you can catch a taxi.". We looked around, hardly find any hints that there will be any taxi here! He noticed our bewildering faces, and asked if we like to "call for a taxi"? We gave him a big YES, then he requested us to wait at the station square for 5 minutes, he dashed back into the station office building, to where we thought he is ringing up a taxi to here. I still worried, but at least I knew I was not alone, the family was with me. Five minutes passed, a vehicle halted at the station square. Someone popped out his head from the driver seat and yelled over there aloud: "COME OVER HERE!". It was the young officer. The "taxi" was his own car! This young man drove us home in exchange of around 10 Euros each passenger. I quite surprised that France is a civilized world but freeways are so dark without lighting. The "taxi" was dashing on dark highways, and turning around and around the airport to find our hotels. Apparently he was not a professional "taxi driver". Yet Mr. Officer made it an enjoyable journey as we chatted merrily on subjects of travels, cultures & sight-seeings in over an hour. It was 2:30AM when I reached at hotel.

Thanks for this young officer. I later learnt that it is over 10km road distance from Aulnay sous Bios to the airport. I couldn't imagine to where I could have been wandered in the darkness & until when I could be home if I were walking with my own alternatives. "JUST FOLLOW ME", I still remember how sweet were these words when I heard that ....

A Mid-atumn Festival with God....

Pslam 41:1~11 http://teaching.clsnp.edu.hk/~tongsir/mp3/09%20September/sid-25-09.mp3 42:1 To the chief music-maker. Maschil. Of the sons of Korah. Like the desire of the roe for the water-streams, so is my soul's desire for you, O God.
42:2 My soul is dry for need of God, the living God; when may I come and see the face of God?
42:3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they keep saying to me, Where is your God?
42:4 Let my soul be overflowing with grief when these things come back to my mind, how I went in company to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with the song of those who were keeping the feast.
42:5 Why are you crushed down, O my soul? and why are you troubled in me? put your hope in God; for I will again give him praise who is my help and my God.
42:6 My soul is crushed down in me, so I will keep you in mind; from the land of Jordan and of the Hermons, from the hill Mizar.
42:7 Deep is sounding to deep at the noise of your waterfalls; all your waves have gone rolling over me.
42:8 But the Lord will send his mercy in the daytime, and in the night his song will be with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
42:9 I will say to God my Rock, Why have you let me go from your memory? why do I go in sorrow because of the attacks of my haters?
42:10 The cruel words of my haters are like a crushing of my bones; when they say to me every day, Where is your God?
42:11 Why are you crushed down, O my soul? and why are you troubled in me? put your hope in God; for I will again give him praise who is my help and my God.

Waiting

Acts 16:1-8 http://teaching.clsnp.edu.hk/~tongsir/mp3/09%20September/sid-24-09.mp3 Thanks God! That HE left me out in the wild that I can do nothing, is for my benefits.

HE put us on stage

Many people don't know the steps actors moved on stage are well designed and planned. This is the design of the director. God is the director of this drama. This drama is bored for HIM, because HE knew how it will end. Bored, because HE knew when there will be a gag, when there will be a tragedy. HE knows the whole drama and the stage. So why HE still cares to view such a boring drama? I don't know the answer. It's only a gut feeling, that HE is putting these actors on stage to achieve many things, where wounded person got healed, imperfect man got completed, righteousness got exercised, and weary audience got delivered. What actors need to do, is following in HIS steps.

(Mr. Chan, District Board Councillor; Me; Sandra Lai; Mr. David Wong, District Board Councillor)

I just had one!

I am addicted to Saturday's service desk. Sadly it was our last round of community service desks on the street. There are around 50,000 residents in our constituency. We have been there for many weeks every Saturday 8:00-10:00AM, taking blood pressure, answering complaints about the district, and ...... listening people's own stories.

"Did you drink Coke today?", 2 weeks ago on the street, there came 4-years-old grandson, who told he likes to drink Coke.
"No!", he smiled shyly, took a witty glimpse to his grandma, who is taking blood pressure.
"Why not?"
"Hm.... because I know it is not good for health.", covering up his mouth with his hands, giggling with all his wits.
"How do you know it's not good for health?"
"Oh because... it will cause cough, bad to teeth."
"Really? Who told you that? I just think Coke is yummy."
"Grandma told me this."
"You believe?"
"Yes."
"So did you drink?"
"Nope.", telling me with 2 smiling bright eyes.
"Honest?"
"Hm.... yes..... I just had one yesterday.", he told in a small voice, holding one little finger in front of my nose.

God told, for those whose hearts are child like got admission to heaven. Perhaps it is because a child is willing to believe & in HIS steps.

........ I love Saturday's service desk so much!

Hi big brother, I know you ...

	It was a gloomy Sunday. Having a haircut, I was day dreaming at the barber shop - a small shop, inside a shabby mall, in a shabby 40-years-old public housing estate. There is nothing so bad for a thing being old & shabby. At least we feel safe since we always know what it will be & what it was. I am a loyal customer for over 20 years.
	God knows. He knows who needs what. Even a gloomy moment, or a boring moment of waiting in one's life, He knows to send something, someone, or some little angels to please the person. "Hi big brother! I must know you!", a little boy came to me, grabbed my hand joyfully. "You really know me?", I asked, amazed & amused. "Yes ~~! I am sure! You are ... you are the big brother that I saw you having haircut here last time.", he told.
	"Really?" , I smiled, "But I really don't know you. You have the haircut at this shop too?" "Yup .. and I always haircut here.", hiding behind the corridor corner, he answered. "But how you can have your haircut? You just have so little hairs!" , I asked. "No.... I have hairs! See!?", he came out of the corner. We laughed together joyfully.